Phil Adams has very few memories from his childhood (except his mother’s untreated depression) and those he does have are dissociated. He is a graduate of the Indiana University School of Music, with an advanced degree in voice, and has taught music for most of his life. After graduating, Phil’s social life was mostly a kind of hiding out. At 28, he cut off all contact with his family. But at 30, Phil noticed a man named Anthony and saw the rest of their life together (which continues together today). At 41, Phil had orthognathic surgery to address an underbite, which was a negative part of his identity. After the surgery, Phil was distressed to not recognize himself in the mirror, but glad that he no longer resembled anybody in his family. Unfortunately, the surgery didn’t quite work and the upper arch relapsed. They re-operated and, after the second surgery, Phil started having panic attacks and developed insomnia. He sought out a therapist to help him manage these new issues and became interested in Milton Erickson’s patient-centered approach and hypnosis. The surgery had made Phil realize that his life could be different. At 43, he had a session of brief therapy with Rubin Battino where he felt as if little was accomplished, but Phil went home and began making amazing changes in his life. Around this same time, a hymn from Phil’s childhood came to him in a dream and he re-connected to a happy memory with complete auditory recall; he could hear the congregation singing, the loudest voice being his mother beside him. That session had changed Phil’s life and then he was given back at least a piece of his childhood. The insomnia stopped and he began to unfold. He understood what it meant to forgive himself and others, to love himself and others. On the way to his second session of brief therapy with Rubin Battino, Phil listened to a set of Brahms’ waltzes, a piece of music that had brought him comfort at important times in his childhood. During the hypnosis, Phil heard the same music as if a stereo were playing inside his head, and it was a comfort to him again—the cartoon monster that filled his whole field of vision started moving away from him and Phil realized that there didn’t need to be any violence when he was afraid. He realized that the fear goes away if you wait. He realized that behavioral and emotional changes—like the change in his appearance—didn’t need to be gradual. He let go of all the fear and the anger in his whole life. He gave himself permission to remember happy things, and now Anthony and everybody else around Phil is happier too. He’s wide awake.

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Wed, Oct 15 2008 08:32 | Rubin Battino, Phil Adams, happy things, Milton Erickson

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Michael Kimball

#95 Phil Adams Is Wide Awake